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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427390">If You Give A Pieck A Gun</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraclegirl1/pseuds/miraclegirl1'>miraclegirl1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s A Wonderful Day, and You’re A Horrible Cart Titan [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, Gun Violence, Mild Language, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Short One Shot, pieck “trigger” finger, zeke had it coming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:08:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraclegirl1/pseuds/miraclegirl1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a peaceful day for the Warriors and you are a horrible little Cart Titan.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It’s A Wonderful Day, and You’re A Horrible Cart Titan [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If You Give A Pieck A Gun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea stemmed from a late night conversation with my sister, and she bullied me into writing it. This is by no means meant to be taken seriously, just a fun little fic to lighten the mood, and prepare for the doom and despair we are bound to feel once season four comes out. THERE ARE MINOR SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE ANIME AND MANGA.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a relatively quiet day for the Warriors of Marley; the kind of day in which current concerns or tasks are enveloped in the misty haze of exhaustion and relaxation, and eventually drift out of mind.</p><p>These days didn’t happen often , especially for the Warriors. There were always missions to go on, or reports to give. Busy, is what they always were, so on the rare occasion they got to sit back and kick up their feet, they took advantage of it.<br/>
Zeke, Porco, and Reiner were sitting in the room the Warriors shared. Pieck had wandered off a while ago, leaving the three men alone. Porco had made tea, and the smell of it lingered in the air, further adding to the feeling of comfort. </p><p>Well, as comfortable as they could get in the sparse room and simple military beds. However, it was the first time any of them had had a day off in months, and they weren’t about to start complaining. With the current war against the Middle Eastern forces, someone was always gone, using their titan form to help Marley conquer and destroy their enemies. Reiner especially hadn’t gotten a break. Since returning from Paradis three years ago, he'd done everything in his power to prove he was just as loyal, if not more so, as everyone else. It had taken its toll on him, which was why he was using this quiet afternoon to try and rest, and was currently on the verge of falling asleep while Zeke read and Porco munched on a sandwich.</p><p>Little did they know that peace was about to be interrupted.</p><p>Zeke, almost as if sensing the impending racket, looked up from his book and quietly scanned the room. He’d been entirely absorbed in whatever he was reading, and hadn’t moved in quite some time. Porco had made a remark earlier about how someone could set off a bomb next to Zeke when he was reading, and he wouldn’t know. When Zeke said nothing in return, Porco had shot Reiner a look that was the very epitome of “told you so”.</p><p>“Has anyone seen Pieck?” Zeke asked, adjusting his glasses as he stood up, his joints popping as he did so.</p><p>“She left an hour ago,” Porco answered through a mouthful of sandwich. “I don’t know where she went. Said she was going on a walk or something.”</p><p>“In this weather?” Zeke said, striding across the room to look out the window. It certainly wasn’t walking weather. In fact, it was rather dreary, and the distant rumblings of thunder broke the silence every now and then.</p><p>Porco shrugged. “I told you, I don’t know-.”</p><p>The creaking of the door cut Porco off. Reiner, who’s semi-conscious state had been interrupted by Porco and Zeke’s conversation, finally gave up on trying to sleep and sat up. All three watched as the door slowly opened to reveal the person behind it.</p><p>Pieck walked in, her face it’s normal sleepy expression. Zeke opened his mouth, perhaps to greet her, but before he could say anything she moved her hand out from behind her back to reveal a gun, pointed it at Zeke’s foot, and pulled the trigger.</p><p>The noise startled everyone, but not as much as Zeke’s yell of surprise and pain. Reiner and Porco immediately slammed their hands over their ears. Being the Beast Titan and all, Zeke had quite a set of lungs on him,  and he was currently using them to, for lack of a better word, holler.</p><p>After all, Pieck had just shot him in the foot.</p><p>“What the actual fuck, Pieck?” Porco snapped, pulling his legs up onto the chair to avoid the already evaporating pile of blood that surrounded Zeke’s foot. Reiner was looking back and forth from Zeke, whose face was a hilarious mixture of shock and pain, and Pieck, who was currently holding a smoking gun.</p><p>“Are you all right, Zeke?” Pieck asked, as if she hadn’t been the one to just shoot him in the foot unprovoked. </p><p>Porco’s eyes practically bugged out of his head at the question.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Zeke grunted, extracting the devilish bullet from his foot. The last of the blood evaporated as the wound closed, revealing unmarked skin beneath the hole in his sock. “But what, pray tell, was that for?”</p><p>“More importantly, where’d you get the gun?” Reiner asked, leaning slightly away from her, as if he was afraid he’d be next.</p><p>If anyone had walked in, perhaps alerted by Zeke’s loud ass yell, they would have seen quite a sight. Three rather tall grown men with various expressions of fear staring at a small sleepy looking woman who was half their size wasn’t something you’d see on a daily basis.</p><p>Pieck considered their questions, the gun held lazily at her side. “I wanted to see what would happen,” she said simply.</p><p>“Wha- SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?” Porco shouted, throwing his hands up in the air in disbelief. “GOOD LORD WOMAN WHERE IS YOUR IMPULSE CONTROL?” </p><p>Zeke glared at him. “Please, don’t yell. Besides, I don’t see why you’re worked up. You're not the one who just got shot in the foot.”</p><p>“He has a point,” Reiner added.</p><p>Pieck tilted her head. “I can shoot you too if you want, Poc.”</p><p>“No! Don’t point that thing at me,” he said as Pieck raised her arm. “And don’t call me that!” He shook his head in frustration. “Have you gone mad?”</p><p>Pieck smiled softly, a look that didn’t really seem like it belonged, given the situation. “No, I’m not mad. I just wanted to see what would happen. Just like the time I built that mattress wall around Reiner’s bed when he was sleeping.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about that,” Reiner said flatly. “And who the hell gave you a gun?”</p><p>“Oh,” Pieck hefted the weapon, causing Zeke to flinch. “I found it lying around, so I just picked it up. Don’t worry, I’ll put it back where I found it.”</p><p>Out of all four of them, Pieck was the most unpredictable. She was known for being calm in battle and her ability to act reasonably in sticky situations, but she was still a young woman; the kind of young woman that occasionally liked to mess with her comrades. People who didn’t know her would assume she was serious and kind, and they wouldn’t be wrong. However, she did have more of a… chaotic side that prompted her to do things like build a mattress wall around a sleeping Reiner, or shoot Zeke in the foot. All in good nature, of course.</p><p>Zeke took off his glasses, for he had seen enough, heaving a sigh that was nothing short of exasperation. “Please, Pieck,” he said wearily, “put the gun away.”</p><p>Footsteps rapidly approaching from the hallway alerted them to someone else, probably coming to check on all the noise.</p><p>“Oh great, now you’ve done it,” Porco grumbled. “Last thing we need is someone coming in to see an insane, gun wielding woman.”</p><p>“I told you, I’m not insane,” Pieck replied, stepping out of the way right as Colt burst through the door.</p><p>“Is everyone okay? I heard a-a gunshot?” Colt doubled over, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “I just wanted to see if anything was wrong.”</p><p>“Hello, Colt,” Pieck said pleasantly, offering the boy a little wave.</p><p>Porco sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Careful, Colt,” he said in a deadpan voice. “She might shoot you too.”</p><p>Colt looked incredibly confused. “Shoot me? Who’s going to sh-.” He stopped short as Pieck presented the infamous gun. “Oh.”</p><p>“The yelling and gunshot you heard was Pieck shooting Zeke. Apparently she’s taken to picking up random guns and shooting the first person she sees.” Reiner explained to a very lost looking Colt. He turned to Porco. “Is this normal?”</p><p>Porco snorted. “Hell no. This is the first time she’s ever shot someone “just to see what would happen”. And frankly, I hope it’s the last.” He side eyed the gun.</p><p>Colt looked helplessly back and forth between the adults; the very adults who were possibly the most powerful people in all of Marley. They were supposed to be the best the Eldian race had to offer; men and women who harbored raging beasts inside them, ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice. </p><p>This isn’t what he’d been expecting to walk into. But, then again, who would?</p><p>“Um, Miss Pieck,” he said cautiously, “w-why did you shoot Mr. Zeke in the foot?”</p><p>“That’s the million dollar question,” Porco grumbled.</p><p>They watched in anticipation as Pieck limped over to a spare chair, and gently lowered herself onto it. She surveyed everyone, taking in their various (and quite comedic) facial expressions. Colt looked lost and concerned, and Porco looked fed up with the situation entirely. Zeke was still rubbing the bridge of his nose, and poor Reiner looked like he just wanted some peace and quiet.</p><p>“Why did I shoot Zeke,” she echoed. Everyone held their breath, waiting. “It’s simple,” she said, leaning back in her chair, smiling once more as she gave her answer. </p><p>“I just wanted to see what would happen.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it’s not the best, but I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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